Tuesday, 24 November 2009

Whisky & Shell

"Carbon capture and storage (CCS) -- gathering CO2 emissions at their source and pumping them underground -- faces steep cost hurdles, but may someday be worth hundreds of billions of dollars a year", a Shell executive said. (Read the full story here.)


But I wonder how it can 'be worth hundreds of billions of dollars' or, as the Shell CEO says, "(CCS) is one of the few technologies that has the potential to become very big'.


Maybe they will lay pipes from the used gas reservoirs where it is stored to our homes. So like piped cooking gas, we can have piped CO2 and make our own soda! Imagine pulling out a hose from under your bar and squirting some into water and turning it into soda. The kids are going to be thrilled.


Maybe the day when Shell takes over Coke isn't very far. That would explain 'hundreds of billions of dollars'. 


But remember:
1. You read it here first.
2. Dear Shell, the idea has been patented.

Monday, 23 November 2009

A deep environmental comment


Is this a take on global warming? Or a dig at Mumbai's non-existent winter? Do penguins really come in those colours? Maybe I should just buy those shoes and run out of here.

Tuesday, 17 November 2009

Tweet nothings

In my continuing tirade against twitter.com, here's the next problem: When one of your followers (if that makes you feel like your name begins with Sri Sri or Yogini, it's not your fault), comments on your tweet, the comment appears like a new tweet by you. Except it begins with @follower's name. (This @ business has got carried over to facebook comments but that's an older story on this blog.) 
The problem of course is that if the same follower comments on two or three different tweets there is no clue as to what comment goes with what. Imagine returning to your twitter account after a week's break to find a lot of comments.
Like I pointed out to a friend in a recent e-mail: 
Twitter! I am not going to be a big follower of that, unless I have
5-10 thousand followers of my own! I guess that's the funda of twitter; it's great for celebrities etc. who have fans who'd love to read stuff like: I am in Paris, city, not Hilton.

Friday, 13 November 2009

Cyclone. Warning.




We went home and waited for the storm
But the storm knew its history better than us
Like its ancestors
It gave our coast the skip, again, knowing
That when a city is being ruined by its own
It needn't waste its supernatural breath...

A bitter-tweet experience




I gave in to the temptation and created a twitter account. That was yesterday. Since then I have one tweet and three followers and I follow 41 people. This is what I don't like about twitter:


The whole so-sweet look; the bird, the colour schemes, the background design options. Sorry, not so-sweet, no, not cho-chweet either, but tho-tweet. That's the other thing I don't like: The desperation to create a twitter vocabulary. Here are couple of examples from the right-hand top corner of my twitter page:



In keeping with the tho-tweet nature of the site, I can say that someone's tweet is a 'favourite'. Yeah, I can write a nasty comment but if I can choose to 'favourite a tweet' (not the grammar of my choice), then why can't I choose to hate a tweet?


Lastly, I really don't like the monologue-nature of the site. It's like listening to someone think aloud. Or like reading a telegram. And like a telegram, I think I will only tweet when there is something of utter urgency to communicate.


Maybe that space on the top right corner can add this:


Monday, 9 November 2009

Opportunity knocks seven times

Close on the heels of the press ad for the BMW Z4 Roadster that used the word, 'Joy' eight times, comes this a gem: A full page ad on the last page of last Saturday's Mumbai Mirror:
Opportunity .. So Rare ...
If you still haven't picked one
when will you?
(Only 45 Plots Balance)

This headline is accompanied by a hand about to pick up a diamond the size of a coconut.
The body copy takes the 'Opportunity' further:
Many times opportunity knocks at your door...
In order to cash in the opportunity, you should be clever enough to respond quickly...
Wise people identify opportunity immediately and grab it before others...
Now when a rare opportunity like Bhimashankar Hills is available, you would not like to miss it...
Bhimashankar Hills offers unbelievable features at lowest cost...
Isn't this a rare opportunity?...

The closing line that follows after the project details completes the circle (of opportunity):
Bhimashankar Hills, Karjat
Your perfect decision.. Rare Opportunity Like A Diamond...

Despite having a lot more words [like, 'Available at LRP (Logical & Reasonable Price)'], than the BMW ad, this one manages to use 'opportunity' only seven times.

The ad has been released by:
Soft Corner
The Art of Buying ......

Friday, 6 November 2009

Fiddler in the burrow

A report in yesterday's Times of India says, 'A study has found that female fiddler crabs have sex with their male neighbours in exchange for protection against wandering male intruders. Both male and female fiddler crabs shelter in burrows which they both must defend from intruders'.

I love the irony of get screwed to avoid getting screwed. It's kind of like the equation between people and governments, no?

Tuesday, 3 November 2009




We spent the last weekend in Kolad, Maharashtra, 125 km from Mumbai. It is a wonderful place with a river called Kundalika flowing between miniature hills. We had a room with a great view of the river. The room itself was iffy and the so-called resort in urgent need of a broom to sweep away its scrapyard look.
As always, the moment you move out of the city, all kinds of wonderful things pop up. Like a pack of fake Uno cards my son found in the room. Or, a label of Manchurian sticks (!) that our neighbours snacked on...