Friday, 19 November 2010

My toilet seat-shaped heart beats for shit



Today is World Toilet Day. No, I am not kidding. It is and I didn't know about it either. But when I picked up The Times of india this morning I saw an ad on the front page from a leading multinational for its brand of toilet cleaner. In the same ad, the brand claims it is, 'Proud to sponsor World Toilet Day'.

Just under that claim is a vaguely heart-shaped toilet seat - the symbol of World Toilet Organization.

There is crappy advertising and then there is more.

I am sure there will be more ads celebrating the day. On news channels probably. Ads by toilet makers that claim, 'Nobody takes shit better'. Or more.

Who knows there might even be an ad for a news channel itself - 'Nobody does shit better'. Or more.

But seriously, I wondered about this World Toilet Organization and searched for it on the internet. Not only does it exist, it also holds an annual summit. I imagine a large convention hall with commodes instead of chairs. (Do representatives from India, Turkey, Japan and some parts of Italy squat instead of sit? Yeah, we are not the only nation.)

The Organization also runs (no pun intended), the World Toilet College. I didn't see it on the site but I presume as you enter the college there is a coat of arms bearing the motto, 'Education is Shit'. A sentiment that will resound with many of my fellow Indians.

I am sure the WTO does a lot of good work. But since the objective of this blog is to be narrow-minded, prejudiced and generally insulting it is not listed here - in short, if this blog had a college its motto would have been, 'Give them shit'.   Those interested in getting a complete download (no pun on load), on WTO and its activities (no, not the one you are thinking), can visit the site here.

Needless to say the WTO has its office in Singapore, a country whose coat of arms has a unicorn and a lion hugging a broom with the motto,
'We love clean. And we are not bullshitting'.

Anyway, whether you think the idea stinks or not, it is World Toilet Day. So let's not be spoilsports and celebrate shit.

Come on, join me to celebrate:

Raja and 2G

Adarsh and every Tom, Ashok and Harry responsible

New Delhi Airport's T3 terminal that consumes ten times more electricity than the older one and handles only twice the number of passengers. It also has parking for 42000 cars and no space provided for public buses to drop or pick up passengers.

Gurgaon - The city with stunning malls but no basic utilities - from drinking water to sewage or garbage disposal, public transport or even sidewalks.

(The last two are from a column by Sunita Narain in today's Times of India. Couldn't find the column in the online edition, so sorry, no link.)

Mumbai - Where 65% of sewage (polite word for shit), goes untreated into the sea.

Shows like 'Bigg Boss' and 'Rakhi ka Insaaf' that appeal to the part of our psyche that hasn't changed since the Romans cheered lions a couple of thousand years ago.

The Government that thinks censorship is the best way of regulation.

The cars and two-wheelers who I saw yesterday - parked on a flyover so the occupants could get out and take pictures and videos of a fire in an adjacent high-rise from a vantage point.

Oh, there is so much to celebrate. Maybe WTO should consider celebrating for a week instead of a day.

November 19. World Toilet Day. Is it a coincidence that it is also the birth anniversary of the only Indian politician who dissolved the Parliament and imposed emergency on us?

Whatever the reason, let's be good sports and celebrate! I'd say, go ahead, hug a toilet today. Or a politician. Whatever is handy.

3 comments:

  1. I have two things to say..

    One, I have new found respect for your writing.
    And second, brilliant 'shit'!

    P.S. This is one of my fav posts.

    ReplyDelete