The Big O. Now in India.

At an undisclosed location in the United States of America

“The day after you landed in Mumbai ‘Times of India’ Mumbai dedicated its first eleven pages to you Mr. President. ‘The Economic Times’ had a special supplement – a pull-out.”
“I am the President of the United States of America. I hate that word – pull-out – don’t you know?”
“Sorry Mr. President, this India visit has me all excited about your future.”
“It is just media hype…”
“No, no Mr. President! It can’t be just hype – there was genuine excitement! Where else have you seen TV reporters go asthmatic and breathless while reporting your visit? And the students – they are the future – they were over the moon! From the humble man in the street to the Man in the Mohan – they were all gripped by the Big O Fever!”
“Is that what they are calling it? Are you sure there is no pun on the Big O?”
“The excitement is real Mr. President. And so is the danger back home – it is clear and present and it cannot be wished away – the Republicans are thrashing us, we are losing ground as if it was being swallowed by Mumbai builders… Why, your kids have already started picking up mementos from the White House!”
“That is bad.”
“That’s an understatement Mr. President. Things are so bad that they are talking of Bobby Jindal having a better chance than you in the next elections.”
“Huh? Just when I was beginning to figure out that being top man was about hope for my individual future and change in my lifestyle…”
“But all is not lost Mr. President.”
“What are my options?”
“Reverse outsourcing.”
“Huh again dude.”
“The warm reception you received in India, the media and public frenzy, your instant connect with future voters in the guise of children – everything points to a simple thing. India is ready for you – you have to contest the next election in India.”
“But where does outsourcing come in?”
“You will take away the biggest job from the Indians – what a coup?!”
“Hmm. But do you think it will work?”
“McDonald’s, Pepsi, Coke, Apple, Nike… they love America around here.”
“It’s an argument. But not strong enough.”
“Well, the voters here really like it when their top man is controlled by a woman.”
“You have a point here. And do not think that I have not noticed that you have stopped calling me Mr. President.”
“Sorry Mr. President. But I want to practise calling you Obamaji.”
“Makes sense. So let’s get on with it. Call my speech writers, my PR machinery, the works. Let’s go for it.”
“Sorry Obamaji, but you might need a different set of consultants here.”
“A numerologist, a guru, a forgery expert to give you a criminal record, a Swiss bank account and lastly a genealogist.”
“I got the rest, but a genealogist?”
“Well, we will have to chart your family tree so we have enough evidence to change your name to Obama Gandhi.”
“You mean Obamaji Gandhiji.”
“You got me there Obamaji.”


  1. I must applaud the mockery that has become the Indian way of life!


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