India Paes respect to Leander
BOOM! There it was, his eleventh Grand Slam title. Expectedly, it led to an Indemic, defined in the 2022 edition of the Oxford Hinglish Dictionary as an epidemic affecting India and Indians only, and its symptoms were visible on Facebook, Twitter and text messages:
Proud to be an Indian!
India does it again!
And such other whoops of joy that our boy Paes had done it again, had matched Mahesh Bhupati's record and had made India and Indians proud.
Of course, if you were to ask most of the people whooping their Indian-ness, if they knew where the nearest tennis courts were, they would suddenly switch the subject to the IPL auction. Of course, the same guys would call every friend, relative, neighbour and paanwallah to try and get tickets to the next cricket world cup. Of course, they would have never attended a tennis match in their or Paes's life. Or will never attend one unless Sachin plays an exhibition match and they get free passes.
The print media has been whooping as well. Paes is on the cover of most newspapers I have seen today. I haven't seen the news on TV; I never do, the doctors have told me that I have a weak heart and it is not good for my health to watch grown-up men and women reporting breathlessly that an auto-rickshaw has collided with a buffalo on Delhi-Patna Road and the police are investigating if the rickshaw driver and the buffalo were having an affair.
That also explains why it is called, 'Breaking news'. Nowhere else in the world will you find news, that wonderful thing, broken so mercilessly. In fact, that's an Indemic too.
But back to the Grand Slam winning ways of Leander Paes. The guy is 36 years old. He first represented India in the Davis Cup when he was 16. The way he has been playing, and the way Indian tennis has been going, the poor chap will still be playing when my son grows up and writes on his Facebook: 'Paes does it again. Proud to be an Indian'.
Enough. I have to find the name and number of a guy who graduated nine years before me from the same college as I. He now works for the Mumbai Cricket Association and I need those free tickets to IPL 3.